In a recent phone conversation, my past real estate client ends up becoming a Rules fan! My client called me out of the blue asking for advice on a foreclosure. He started out with small talk to catch up on the latest before getting right into it. His investment property was mistakenly foreclosed on by the bank. Even though it was the bank’s mistake and they were correcting his, he still wanted my advice. First, I told him, “Thank you for calling me as your realtor, but this is something a real estate attorney would handle. It’s out of my field of expertise, but I can refer you to a good attorney who can represent you on this matter and advice you.” So I emailed the name and contact information of the attorney.
I realized that I had to break the news to him, because I had not officially announced it yet, except to the clients I’m currently finishing out, a few close friends and associates. I was going to write a “Dear John Letter” to everyone, but I’m still working as realtor while I softly transition. I no longer introduce myself as a realtor, but as a Rules Dating & Relationship Coach. I have not really put myself out there yet, not while I’m still showing houses as a realtor, because it’s too confusing to hold more than one identity and hold it very well. That was the single most important thing I ever learned from being a realtor with Hindsite 20/20, is “holding your identity.” Many of my friends still don’t know yet. It’s no secret, but if people really wanted to know, they could easily find out. Since November 2010, my identity quickly started morphing from being a real estate expert to a relationship expert.
I told him I am no longer practicing as a realtor, but currently in transition right now. I stopped taking new clients back in January and staying long enough just to finish out a few clients who I’ve been working with since last Fall only because it’s very important for me to finish what I started and hold up to my commitments. I could have left in January, but I decided to take the time to undergo this long, protracted exit for the sake of fulfilling my commitments. If I’m going to finish something, I want to finish clean. I want to end this chapter of my real estate career on a high note and not in a hurried, sloppy and messy way. That is just not my style.
But as soon as I talked about my new venture as a Rules Dating & Relationship Coach, he was beaming with questions and curiosity–no holding back! He was totally intrigued by the and started asking all sorts of questions about what I do, how to approach women and why do women do what they do. It was like the dam broke! He was very curious, perturbed, perplexed and intrigued all at the same time. He started bombarding me with questions that were bothering him from deep within, hoping to unlock the secrets about women that I may hold as “The Rules Relationship Expert”!
He must have opened his email right away and found my website because he said, “It shows that you mainly help women,” and I said, “That’s right. My specialty is coaching women.” His first reaction was indignant and self-righteous. At first, he accused me of being chauvinistic, because he thought, “Hey, men need help too! Why do you just help the women and not the men?” I said, “Of course I help the men. I help the men by turning out their women! And it makes men very happy!” After 45 minutes of divulging my secrets and revealing fundamentals truths about men and women, he was totally convinced, became a true believer and raving fan!
We carried on laughing and having a blast like old buddies. He finally said, “Keep doing what you’re doing! Yes, we’re good!” And that’s when he said, “I only meant this to be a quick 5 minute conversation. . . You are really having too much fun with this!” He was not only a believer and a fan of my work, but he gave me with lots of suggestions and interesting ideas to help me further my mission. Lastly, he asked, “Please remember me and to send me my commission check!”
We’ll have to see what the Universe holds, but it’s certainly been an interesting magic carpet ride so far! When I accepted my calling, things magically started happening. I was reading a book called, “How to Find the Work You Love” by Laurence Boldt that talks about following your passion, your calling, your perfect work, and your bliss.
Joseph Campbell said, “If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track, which has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you commit yourself to following your bliss, doors begin to open for you where there were no doors and where they would not open for anyone else.”