The Art of Doing the Rules #2: Meet a Rules Girl

Have you ever met a girl who just radiates with a superb brand of confidence and seems to know her way around men so well that she puts even prom queens to shame?  It might make you wonder, “What am I doing wrong? What’s her secret? What is she doing that makes men go after her?” You just met a Rules Girl. She is always busy, happy, light and breezy. She may not be extraordinarily beautiful, but she takes care of herself, wears make-up, dresses well and has her act together.  She is fabulously cool and elusive.  A Rules Girl simply loves herself and just shows up.  People find themselves attracted to her radiance, strong sense of self-contentment and supreme independence.  She is just the type of girl every man wants to have.  She is a creature unlike any other!

When a Rules Girl goes out, she does not stare at men or look around wildly trying to get their attention.  She does not approach men or talk to them first, but allows them to approach her. She does not carry a pen in case someone wants her number, nor does she frantically search for her business card.  She does not pursue men or dive for the phone when they call. She is nonchalant, busy and has a million things to do! When a man finally gets her, he feels lucky to have her and treats her like a princess.

A non-Rules girl talks too much.  She is overly eager, anxious, impatient, needy, clingy and acts desperate or demanding sometimes.  She takes the lead, asks men for their number, chases after men or tries to be “friends” with men.  She waits by the phone, counting the days wondering, “Why has he not called for a date?”  If she is in a relationship, she wonders why her boyfriend or husband is distancing himself from her. In a state of distress and deep insecurity, a non-Rules girl will start her downward spiral path of destruction and self-sabotage the relationship by breaking The Rules one by one.  Then it’s time for “Rules 911” to the rescue when she calls me, her Rules dating coach to save the day! I help my clients develop a strong sense of self-love, confidence, supreme independence.  Beyond that, I add that delicate touch of demure and feminine grace, which I take to a high art form, and I will help her  transform into a creature unlike any other!

This sense of being a CUAO will make you feel like a star! But if the truth be told, a plain-looking Jane who follows the Rules will have a better chance of being happily married than a gorgeous celebrity or super model.  In fact, I can think of only a few examples of celebrity Rules Girls .  Here is my short list of Rules celebrities:  Hollywood star Catherine Zeta-Jones, former first lady Laura Bush, first lady Michelle Obama and Prince William’s bride, Kate Middleton.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is the ultimate Rules Girl star. She made Michael Douglas wait nine months before allowing him to kiss her, even though she was instantly attracted to the “unattainable bachelor” and the biggest catch of Hollywood Royalty.   He pursued her relentlessly with flowers and phone calls. She valued herself and did not want to be taken for granted by a man who is used to having money, power and having his way with any woman he wants.  Michael still had to work to earn his way into her heart!

Laura Bush never wanted to marry a politician, but a builder like her father.  But for George, it was love at first sight.  He pursued her, proposed and they were married in three months.  George adores Laura, always speaks highly of her in public and credits her for helping him stop drinking.

Michelle Obama worked at a Chicago law firm where she was asked to advise summer associate Barack. She held off from his requests to take her out because she didn’t want to mix love at the workplace, but she finally agreed.  They have been happily married since 1992. Barack calls Michelle his “rock” and gives her “the power of veto.”  Even after 16 years of marriage, Barack still sends her flowers and this high-profile power couple still goes on dates to keep the passion alive.

And last, but not least, my latest favorite Rules Girl—or I should say, “Rules Princess,” is Kate Middleton.  According to the Irish Examiner, Kate was a British commoner who not only held the world’s media in thrall with her lineage and fashion sense, but also kept a world audience wondering a nine-year old question: “What is it about this woman who captured a future king’s heart?”  Even before he slipped the Queen of Hearts diamond on her hand, millions of women understood what confounds the press.  The article states, “By action if not design, Kate Middleton is a Rules Girl.”

Stay tuned for my next blog series on “Meet a Rules Princess!” where we will discover how Kate won William and had a fairytale wedding by doing The Rules.  Wishing Kate and William love, success and happily ever after! Long live the Rules!  England will always have a special place in my heart and soul.

“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.”  ~Japanese proverb

Much Gratitude,

Kim, The Modern Geisha

“The Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”

Privacy & Confidentiality: All consultations are 100% private and confidential. No information about a client is shared or published without prior knowledge, review and consent. Testimonies and stories are voluntarily shared at the client’s own discretion to educate, enlighten and inspire others.

Note:  This message is intended for a general audience only. There are rules and exceptions to the rules. I give advice on a case-by-case basis only and not cookie-cutter advice. If you have questions regarding this matter, please email for a private consultation.

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