THERE’S A NEW SET OF RULES NOW!
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down . Now it’s time for the man’s rules. We always hear “the rules” for the feminine side. OK – we are now going to hear the rules from the man’s side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered “1” on purpose.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!
1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. I’m in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can –
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can –
to give them a bigger laugh.
Thought I would share this funny post and keep my readers entertained while I am on break and in between writing my next blog article, “Meet a Rules Father.” I don’t know who the author is, otherwise, I would have given credit, but it can easily be Googled and found on many other sites as well. You may have gotten this in an email from a friend like I have. It’s an oldie, but goodie. Enjoy!
“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.” ~Japanese proverb
Kim, The Modern Geisha
“The Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”
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Note: This message is intended for a general audience only. There are rules and exceptions to the rules. I give advice on a case-by-case basis only and not cookie-cutter advice. If you have questions regarding this matter, please email firstname.lastname@example.org for a private consultation.