New Year’s Goals and Marriage

Dear Rules & Modern Geisha Fans,

Hope you are coming into the New Year with a splash of the endless future possibilities ahead of you! By now, you’ve probably written down all of your S.M.A.R.T.  Goals, which are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Bound and fully charged to conquer the world.

While some of us may be good at setting goals, we may not achieve them simply because they are not realistic.  In case you are wondering, my short list of goals for 2012 is to:

  1. Have the healthiest, hottest body
  2. Eat clean
  3. Blog more

My goals are very simple, but not easy to do. Don’t be fooled by the brevity of my list. As we all know, there’s a lot involved behind the scenes around organizing our priorities and schedules to make all these things happen and to do them effectively—meaning get results!

I am known by my clients for getting results.  While it’s good to have goals, I am concerned some of you are setting goals that are not attainable.  When that happens, you set yourself up for failure. For example, I hope one of your New Year’s goals is not to get married or be in a relationship, but simply to be happy! Here’s why….

  1. If you are not happy being single, then chances are you are not going to be happy being married.
  1. If you are not happy, then you reduce your level of attractiveness. Who wants to be around a mopey, negative, depressing, whining, complaining, nagging and ungrateful person? These qualities are unattractive and anti-seductive in any person.
  1. Being in a relationship involves the free will of another person and I do not believe in interfering with another person’s free will. You only have control over yourself.

I once had a girlfriend in her mid-thirties who had a successful career, tons of friends, drove a nice car, traveled around the world and had everything, but a man. One year, she basically announced to everyone her goal was to be married by the end of 2010, as if it were some quarterly sales goal. And guess what? 2010 came and went and she is now still single.

I must say that as a happily married and certified Rules Dating Coach, marriage is not a checklist item that can happen by a certain deadline no matter how badly you want it or think you deserve it. Unlike your professional or health goals, which you have some degree of control over, it’s not something you can check off. While you can control what you eat, drink, how much you sleep, how much you study, how much money you make or how many yoga classes you’re going to take, you cannot control someone else’s feelings or make them propose.  Marriage is not something you can download instantly at the touch of your phone. Sorry.

That’s why I’m here to help the modern woman—single or married—become the most attractive, desirable and addicting woman, a genuine C.U.A.O. (creature unlike any other) such that any man would want to marry her, even women, too!

So I want to leave my Modern Geisha mantra with you to contemplate daily as part of your New Year’s Goals for 2012:

“A Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood…. She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.”  ~Japanese proverb

Much Gratitude,

Kim, The Modern Geisha

“The Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”

Note:  This message is intended for a general audience only. There are rules and exceptions to the rules. I give advice on a case-by-case basis only and not cookie-cutter advice. If you have questions regarding this matter, please email for a private consultation.

11 thoughts on “New Year’s Goals and Marriage

  1. That was awesome advice. Its frustrating when you’ve been on multiple first dates to get discouraged and upset with yourself. But I like what you said about being content with yourself, even if that means single for a long time. Thanks for the encouragement. I hope to talk with you one day.

  2. Hi Kim,

    I was wondering what is your definition by Eat Clean?
    Do you go Vegan?
    or Organic food?

    I am trying this method right now…I am trying to eat “clean” as well..
    I am trying my best to eat organic food…meat that contains No Hormones and Grass-Fed. Feels Fantastic! 😀

    I can actually see my belly fat is shrinking! LOL feels more energetic and better for the skin 🙂

  3. The part about few goals seem deceptively simple is so true. All goals take significant time and effort to make progress on.

    The part about goals that you are in control of is also critical. You can’t control others so shouldn’t make their actions part of your goal, very true.

    P.S. I think your goals are fabulous!

  4. Very good reminders. Each of us must first be happy with our own lives, we must embrace who we are without hesitation, and we must go out and do the things we truly desire. It is that self-contentment and inner happiness that must come first. Only then will friends and lovers emerge who will truly enrich us in our daily lives.

  5. This should be forward to every single woman being anxious about marriage! Marriage happens when you don’t try to force it. If you force love to happen, how can it be genuine or pleasurable?

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