Last Friday, my client texted me a cute photo that sent me roaring with laughter. I had to show-n-tell this in my blog. I love using photos to dress up my blogs, because they breathe life to my stories. Instead of being just an ornament, this photo inspired me to write this blog. It’s a story of how my client learned how to master her mood and marry her man. Along the way, she dubbed me the “Texas Geisha.”
One time, my client had been anxious and upset about her boyfriend all week. Instead of talking about marriage, he was pulling away while she felt like she was pursuing. When he wanted some space, it put her in a very bad mood. Out of sheer frustration, she texted me for a Rules 911 emergency consult.†
If you’re in crisis mode, a Rules 911 emergency call can save the day with a simple fundamental strategy. Clients get frustrated sometimes and find it almost impossible to do The Rules . When they need something a little deeper and more powerful, I offer them “Secrets of the Modern Geisha.” It is simply a philosophy and the art of living a powerful and elegant life. For those who wish to learn, I offer my notoriously profound, yet simple secrets.
The Rules is my standard coaching. The Modern Geisha is my secret coaching known by clients who already seek my advice as their trusted coach. The Rules are about being light, breezy and maddeningly elusive. The Modern Geisha is about charm, rapport and being maddeningly addicting. To supplement The Rules, I teach Modern Geisha charm, tactics and fundamental strategies.
Here is part of our conversation reprinted with permission from my client, who was happy to share:
Kim: “You are obsessing! Not very Rules. Get busy and quit thinking about it or you will go crazy.”
Client: “You were right. When I relaxed, he called and asked me to a movie Friday night. I wish I was better at this and more cool and disciplined, but I’m feeling better.”
Kim: “You need to learn to hold your mood.”
Client: “OK! You are Texas Geisha.”
Mastering your mood is one of the most powerful skills you could ever learn to maintain a happy, healthy, and long-term committed relationship. We do not control others, we can only control ourselves. If you can master your mood, you can master your man. When you have self-composure, your man will be more accommodating.
Mood is critical in a Modern Geisha’s world, hence my mantra: “The Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”
It is a rare skill in a woman. A common woman is highly emotional. A Modern Geisha has emotional control. Nasty tempers, venting, complaining, nagging and whining are anti-seductive, anti-Rulesy and anti-geisha behaviors that lead to self-destruction and self-combustion.
Unchecked emotions can be messy and costly. I don’t mean money, I mean a broken heart that cannot be easily repaired or replaced. Not to mention all the time and emotional energy invested.
Anyway, I couldn’t help bursting out laughing when she called me “Texas Geisha.” What a riot! A complete oxymoron. Texas and geisha come from two completely different cultures and different worlds. East meets West!
Born and raised in Texas myself, I see Texans being big, bold, loud and sassy.
Being Asian, I see geishas being tiny, delicate, silent and demure.
Both astonished and amused, I asked her, “How on earth did you come up with Texas Geisha?” She emailed her rendition of our conversation and said, “It wasn’t so much how you said it, but the attitude behind it. You wrote this:
Kim: “[If he wants space] then give him space. Let it be.” (Geisha)
Kim: “You have to be OK with that.” (Geisha)
(Me: Something nuts, something anxious….)
Kim: “You are obsessing! Not very Rules. Get busy and quit thinking about it or you will go crazy.” (Texas!)
She said, “All together it was just hilarious! You’re a mix of sweet and direct knowledge! Texans are as sweet as they are big! And directness was both! Geisha have the knowledge and calm to apply! So there you go. Texas Geisha!”
I was roaring and laughing hysterically! It was all so funny, but so true!
Two months later, her then boyfriend became her soon-to-be-husband. They are now happily engaged and planning their wedding. I have a save-the-date magnet as a beautiful reminder of her success. Every time she gets into a tough spot with her fiancé where she needs to master her mood, be more Rulesy and more geisha-like, she plays one of my old consults to keep herself on track!
Here is the photo she sent:
She labeled me “Texas Geisha” on her iTunes playlist. I thought it made a very cute, clever and mysterious album title! Very discrete and very geisha.
You don’t have to be Asian or from Texas to be a Modern Geisha. I have successfully trained Modern Geishas from all over the world: Los Angeles, New York, Boston, London, Vienna and more. My birthplace and home is Texas, and I whole-heartedly embrace my inner Texan. But as the Modern Geisha, my roots remain Zen.
If you are ready to master profoundly deep, life-changing and powerful wisdom, I am here to serve.
“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.” ~Japanese proverb
Kim, The Modern Geisha
† Consultations are given by phone or video-Skype only. Texts in this passage were follow-up texts after the consultation.
Privacy & Confidentiality: All consultations are 100% private and confidential. No information about a client is shared or published without prior knowledge, review and consent. Testimonies and stories are voluntarily shared at the client’s own discretion to educate, enlighten and inspire others.
Note: This message is intended for a general audience only. There are rules and exceptions to the rules. I give advice on a case-by-case basis only and not cookie-cutter advice. If you have questions regarding this matter, please email email@example.com for a private consultation.