Know Me Know My Books

Unlike any other dating & relationship coaches, therapists or match-makers, I do not read a lot of popular dating & relationship books.

In fact, I have only a few–the two classics I consider the best in the world in their class:

1. The Rules

2. Men Are From Mars

Recent additions to my bookshelf:

3. Five Love Languages

4. He’s Just Not That Into You

This may be surprising, shocking and disappointing to some, but please understand.

I do not read a lot of dating & relationship books for one simple and obvious reason: I am happily married, not dating.

If you already know how to make chicken soup, would you continue reading every book on how to make chicken soup?

Here is an interesting observation from personal experience as a dating & relationship coach:

1. People who are not my clients often ask me to recommend good books.

2. Clients who regularly get coaching from me do not ask me for books. They just want me.

I assign books, journal prompts or movies on occasion, but only if I find it meaningful and relevant to their immediate concerns. I recommend books only if I know they can accelerate results paired with my coaching.

I chose these books because they are fundamental, universal and contain very basic, but important facts about men, women and relationships.

They are powerful tools. They work if you use them.

“When wood is shaped, it becomes tools. Used by the sage, tools become powerful.”
~Tao Te Ching (Verse 28)

Tools can be weak or powerful depending on the capacity of the user.

I teach clients how to be powerful using only a few simple tools with uncommon and superior skill.

To be common is to be like any other.

To be common is inconsistent with Rule #1: “Be a creature unlike any other.”

If you to want to know me, know my books.

They are few, but important.

My philosophy on books and knowledge is most accurately expressed by Sherlock Holmes:

ā€œI consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.ā€
ā€• Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet

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