Birthday a Deal Breaker?

The Rules says: “Stop dating him if he doesn’t buy you a romantic gift on your birthday or Valentine’s.”

Please don’t get us wrong. This is not for gold-diggers or an excuse to be bratty on your birthday.

What we are saying is what a guy does on your birthday is a strong indicator of how he feels about you. It’s not how expensive the gift is, but the type of gift.

Hopefully, it’s romantic like jewelry, flowers or something sentimental rather practical.

I believe that how a person shows up on your birthday is a strong litmus test of how they show up in a relationship. But should you dump him? Do you hint at what he should get for your birthday?

In my upcoming Rules classes, I will talk about birthdays and what you must refrain from doing, like contriving or manipulating, and why.

Birthdays are important to my husband. He is brilliant at birthday surprises and it’s his thing.

Every year, I get double birthday cards, balloons, flowers, designer wrapping paper with matching ribbons and gift tags.

Opening birthday gifts from my husband is like opening up a set of Russian Matryoshka nesting dolls.

I would find one amazing surprise after another inside.

I told my husband not to do anything for my birthday this year, but he surprised me anyway. He is also consistent at wishing birthdays on Facebook; that’s his thing. I am not consistent on Facebook, but I send birthday cards; that’s my thing.

Speaking of which, I just sent out a few birthday cards and updating my Birthday Book.

If you would like to be added to my Birthday Book and receive a birthday card, please submit this form:

4 thoughts on “Birthday a Deal Breaker?

  1. Wow, The Rules say that?? As a guy I can tell you that my feelings about my sweetie do not vary based on which day it is or if I managed to find what I wanted at the store in the short time I might have had to drop by a store. This, I believe, is one of the great fallacies women tell each other: that my guy likes me only if he does certain things on certain days. In fact I believe this to be a *highly destructive* way of evaluating a relationship as it *might* be very superficial. Kim you hint at this in your blog and I want to emphasize it: *if* your guy is the type to remember birthdays *and* give nice (or superficial!) things to you on these days, then *relative to past presents* you can draw a conjecture (not a conclusion!!) on how he is feeling possibly about his entire world *at that moment*. Uh huh, see how many variables are involved here? There is NO substitute for honestly and accurately _understanding your guy_ and what his actions have meant in the past and there is NO absolute scale for which to measure *all* guys! Treating us all the same is actually a prejudice! Girls most definitely don’t want to be clumped together in an “all women are …” group, guys don’t like it either. Kim, excellent job calling this one out!

    1. Glad you read me accurately. I hope the girls also see the fact that it’s my husband’s thing. He does what is consistent with his character regardless of what I think or want. These indicators can be used as a conjecture, but are not a conclusion. No single rule or indicator is strong enough to stand on its own and be a deal breaker.

      Just whetting their appetite for more classes! Thanks for posting!

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