To be honest, I struggled all day to write my blog for New Year’s. I had been brainstorming, browsing and writing several pages full of lists in my journal goals I would like to accomplish for weeks. Then at the very last hour, I suddenly experienced a shift and decided to scratch it all.

Every year, I set new goals and write them down on paper. In fact, I set goals continuously throughout the year, then modify them as needed. But for 2013, I decided to do something a little different and unexpected.





For the coming year 2013, I will practice Wu Wei, which means “inaction,” “action without action,” “without effort,” “without struggle” and “without control.” This is similar to what  The Rules prescribes, since it tells women to refrain from doing many things in dating, such as “Don’t talk to a man first,” “Don’t tell him what to do,” “Don’t open up too fast,” and so forth.

Our old man, Lao Tzu (Not being flippant or irreverent here. That is the literal translation of his name. It means “old man.”) said that in order to live in harmony with the Tao, we must behave in a completely natural and uncontrived way.

The problem with setting goals is that it feels forced, contrived and controlling. You know that often things do not always work out perfectly as planned. The reality is, we get busy,  constant interruptions, we get tired, forgetful, lazy or unexpected things happen called “life” that get in the way of our goals. When we don’t achieve them, we are discouraged, disappointed and distraught with feelings of failure.

Looking back upon all the things I accomplished in 2012, such as creating Modern Geisha Mastery classes and The Rabbit Hole series, none of these were a product of setting goals. I was simply going with the flow and had no idea that I would have created a total of eight classes and audios within in one year. They were created simply by listening to the needs of my followers.

In 2012, I had only three goals. Refer to blog https://rulescoach.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/new-years-goals-and-marriage/. Yet, with only three goals, I now realize  I ended up achieving more than the goals I originally set because I was simply passionate about empowering women.

I believe that you have a  purpose and are passionate about something, you literally become unstoppable. It’s like a secret weapon or drug that gives you almost superhuman capability. The Modern Geisha and Rabbit Hole classes were simply by-product of passion, not goals or expectations.

I was simply following my passion and having fun while helping women get to the altar faster by teaching them how to communicate better with men.

Just because I am not setting goals does not mean I have no desires. It just means I will not limit myself to narrowly focused goals when I can accomplish more by being free of them. I don’t want to be so fixed upon something  that I miss out on unexpected opportunities that are even better than what I could have imagined.

“Be like water.” Zen is effortless living.

When our actions are in harmony with the Tao, things come naturally and effortlessly.

It does not mean be lazy or apply no effort. Not at all. It just feels effortless when you are in the flow of the Tao.

This is the efficacy of Wu Wei.

Instead of setting goals, I would rather be doing these things:
1) Write my book.
2) Dance more.
3) Travel the world.
4) Spend time with my husband, friends and family.

My New Year’s Resolution for 2013 is to have no goals, no expectations, but be open to receive with great anticipation unexpected new opportunities beyond my wildest dreams by practicing Wu Wei.

Thank you and Good-bye 2012! It was incredibly amazing and wonderful, but let’s keep punching forward… Progress!

Goodbye 2012


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