Hello Rules Fans!
Just wanted to write a quick note before we cruise off on our vacation.
If it’s been quiet, it’s because I’ve been a busy-bee helping women get to the altar faster! (It’s much easier getting a Ph.D than getting married these days.) Speaking of which, 10 years ago was when Mr. Right and I walked down the aisle to say, “I do.”
He is taking us on a 7-day Caribbean cruise to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary on Juneteenth (June 19th), an important milestone in American history. Do you know what that is? That’s your pop trivia question for today. (Comment below if you know!)
We’ve both been busy, working brutally hard and have not had a vacation since last year on our anniversary in Cancun.
Even though my husband recently lost his job (a blessing, not a misfortune) and our budget is far more modest, he is still indulging me in week-long cruise even though he’d rather be working on his new venture.
The story is, he’s been “in the zone” working passionately and relentlessly and was not exactly in the mood for a break, especially in the midst of making so much progress.
Dilemma: Husband wants to work. Wife wants a vacation. Husband wants to hit the accelerator. Wife wants a reset button to refresh, recalibrate and rejuvenate.
So what happened?
Husband yields to wife and books a cruise.
After all, that is what loving, caring and devoted Rules husbands do. In a Rules marriage, husbands put their wives first. Most importantly, they plan something special and romantic for anniversaries.
Lately, several clients have asked me, “What if a guy is cheap with gifts?” If he’s cheap with gifts, then he’s going to be cheap with love and commitment. Remember, men work hard to earn money because they know it will enable them to date and marry their dream girl.
It’s not about the money, but the type of gift. It has to be romantic, not practical. But a man who is in love with a woman will lavish her with romantic gifts and try to impress her with the best. Romance is not about being frugal, it’s frivolous. Mr. Right will be emotionally and financially invested in you. This is your litmus test when weeding out Mr. Wrong.
Mr. Right will be more romantic than pragmatic. He budgets where he can, but doesn’t pinch pennies when it comes to his wife or dream girl on romantic holidays (her birthday, Valentine’s Day and their anniversary).
Since it’s summer, clients are also asking me if they can accept invitations to 1-week long vacations with a guy are dating, especially when they are dying for a vacation, too! The rule is no long vacations, only quick trips that are 2-3 day weekends. Save long vacations for your honeymoon. There will be plenty of time for that after you are married!
I am very happy, blessed and grateful to have such an amazing husband of 10 incredible years! I would not be the Rules dating coach I am today without his devotion, unconditional love and support.
My husband spoils me, but it’s because I don’t spoil myself, I don’t pamper myself, I don’t buy myself things or go crazy with the credit card on shopping sprees.
Do you want to know how to have an enduring, committed Rules marriage, and a husband who treats you like a princess?
Being a Rules wife is not about being a spoiled, selfish, lazy, narcissistic and entitled princess.
It’s about having the humility, maturity, dignity, wisdom and responsibility to work hard and postpone immediate gratification to take care of long-term goals and future concerns for the family.
When you are busy working hard, being productive and not succumbing to laziness or self-indulgence, you will have a husband who supports you, encourages you, treats you like royalty and takes you on a cruise for your anniversary!
If you want a happy marriage, then you must do The Rules, toss the habit of self-indulgence and practice a little self-denial.
Will be sharing more Rules success stories when I get back! (And maybe some sob stories, too.)
While on the cruise, I may not have access to internet or emails. Will write back as soon as I return.
If you have a dating emergency and need immediate assistance, please contact Ellen Fein or Sherrie Schneider at www.TheRulesBook.com.
Have a great summer!
Happily married and helping women get to the altar faster.