Male Universe

Masculine Insecurity Is Real

Masculine insecurity is a real issue due to their hardwiring and inner child wounds.

It’s not something you should just write off like, “Oh, he’s just insecure!” and use that to shame men for your relationship problems. So you take the focus off of you and blame it all on them. That is being insensitive, inconsiderate and self-absorbed.

You must learn how to do your part and do it graciously and lovingly. All relationships are your mirror. You don’t live in a vacuum. Men react to your actions. Therefore, how a man treats you tells me how well you are (or not) doing The Rules.

Take responsibility for everything you create in your life because the Divine Feminine leads on an emotional and spiritual level. (Yes, The Rules Books does say that women carry the emotional burden of the relationship, not the man.)

The male ego is ultra sensitive, fragile and should be handled with care. You can help a man feel more secure is by doing The Rules as a daily, consistent way of life in ALL your relationships, not just with men. But mostly on YOURSELF.

A man needs a woman who is sweet, gracious and respectful while standing in her own power, her supreme femininity. Not a loud, bossy, controlling, power-obsessed woman who is disrespectful of his masculinity.

Healthy boundaries, self-control and Holding Your Mood is always classy and ATTRACTIVE.

Doing The Rules brings out the best in you and in your man.

If you are too self-absorbed, emotionally heavy or resentful of men “being men,” then relationships are NOT for you.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Advice By Kim

Dead Zone

Dead Zone = Disappear. You’re out. Busy. Gone!

On weekends, learn how to disconnect, retreat and go mute.

By not responding, you are maintaining your feminine poise and power. This communicates high value and worth.

It’s none of their business what you’re doing with whom, when, and where.

These are boyfriend privileges. Unless he is your boyfriend, no guy is entitled to know anything or a response.

Texting back to inform him of your whereabouts shows no boundaries and low self-esteem, which invites disrespect or worse–abuse.

Some women need to be put on The Duct Tape Plan or hit the mute button to withdraw your energy during Dead Zone.

You can’t be a big mouth and blurt out everything that’s on your mind or what you’re doing over the weekend via texts.

Be a complete mystery. Be a challenge. Be the PRIZE!!!

No contact until Mon 10am. Yes, I am stricter than the books (which says until Sun 6pm)! No exceptions.

A man will form his lifelong opinion of you based on your rules or non rules behavior during the Critical Window (first 30 days). Therefore, it is life or death to do The Rules.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Miss to Mrs

Diamond Among Stones

Since 2010, my claim to fame has been helping clients “get engaged in a year or less.”

But that’s just part of the story.

I help you marry a “Man who loves you more than you love him,” a man who is maddeningly addicted to you, wants to see you every day, and never tires of you.

Finding a good husband is like finding a diamond among stones. It’s extremely difficult but not totally impossible.

The Rules co-author, Sherrie Schneider says, “Congrats on 19 years!!! That is so beautiful what Raman wrote!” 

Dating isn’t for the lazy or weak. It requires the willingness to invest in your own personal development, high moral character, ethics, mental toughness, humility, and emotional maturity. A happy, successful, long-term marriage is for those who are strong enough to endure the corrosion of time.

Some of you may have just found The Rules recently and stumble across my blog. We’ve been together for almost two decades now.

If you want to know the story of how we met and what a classic Rules story is supposed to look like from the beginning, listen to one of my early Rules Seminars called, “The Rabbit Hole,” (Lecture + Q&A). This bundle contains a list of 21 questions from the original members of my secret underground learning labyrinth called, “Secrets of the Modern Geisha.” It was taught during the same year “Not Your Mother’s Rules” book was published by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider (2013).

My husband is a diamond among stones because I see a lot of husbands neglectful of their wives. They look forward to fishing, hunting, camping or hanging out with their poker buddies more than they look forward to date night. In some marriages, if their wife cancels date night, the husband will rejoice and tell their friends, “Yay! Free hall pass!”

I am supremely blessed and grateful to be married to a man who has always put me first. According to Raman–as he learned from his father–even kids come after your husband because, in the end, all your kids will leave you, marry someone else, and start their own family. In your old age, all you have is each other. That’s why we never had kids. We didn’t want to share our time.

Raman provides for me, protects me, makes my life comfortable and easy. He cherishes me above all others and expects very little in return except my TIME.

Furthermore, he will take a bullet for me.

Such a husband is deserving of my time, attention, energy and love. Anyone else will come after and I do not apologize for that. These are the bundle of privileges that come with marriage. It is the most sacred and highest form of communion two people can ever have.

Even my own father tells me to put my husband first. He never takes offense to our absences. He never imposes himself and he never interferes in our affairs regardless of how he feels. My father understands the seriousness of marital obligations and strongly believes in honoring them.

Many women nowadays will go through their entire adult life without ever knowing what their obligations are. Obligations are the same thing as rules. There’s a generation of women don’t follow “The Rules” or any kind or relationship code of conduct either because 1) No one ever taught them or 2) Maybe they were taught but don’t believe in following them for whatever reason: toxic beliefs from pop culture, peer pressure or narcissistic personality problems.

In school, they teach you how to be a good employee but not a good wife. They teach you how to read, write and do math but not how to manage relationships or build a powerful marriage.

As a result, many women are going through a crisis: being middle-aged yet unable to create a happy, loving, committed relationship that will end in marriage. We have a generation of “empowered women” who have plenty of paper on the wall but no marriage certificate… Lots of accomplishments or money in their bank but no one to come home to at night. It’s lonely.

What’s missing in their narratives is understanding fundamental law, rules, and principles regarding relationships that have existed since the beginning of time.

All relationships have rules and obligations, whether it be a parent/child, teacher/student, a boss/employee, or coach/client. Understanding your relationship obligations is critical to your success and getting what you want in life. Most importantly, to be happy.

No one is ever successful all on their own. Your success in life largely depends on the relationships you build and nurture. Build your bridges before you need them.

Geishas were highly accomplished, well-respected, and powerful women because they knew the art of building long-term, strategic relationships with powerful people. So much of their prestige and reputation depends on the people they know–key members of the Japanese ruling elite.

If it wasn’t for my family, successful friends, powerful mentors, my loving husband, the support of Ellen and Sherrie, and my devoted clients, I wouldn’t be here teaching you.

When people don’t know their obligations to the key people in their life, they suffer inside. Their life is a constant, desperate struggle in a tough and cruel world. And they’re alone because they unintentionally alienate themselves rather than winning friends and influencing people.

In my previous blog, “Our Time” was a gentle reminder for married women to understand their marital obligations. Let it also serve as a pre-lesson for single women with matrimonial ambition.

It is for wives to not be inconsiderate and take their husbands for granted when they worked so hard to get you. Remember, out of all the women in the world, he chose to commit to YOU. He made a vow to love you, honor you and cherish you… In sickness and in health, rich or poor and “until death do us part.”

Life is different after marriage. When you are single, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and have no obligations to anyone but yourself.

A married woman’s life is full of obligations. She must organize herself around her husband, her children, her in-laws, and her husband’s friends, etc… This is part of growing up and living in the adult world: following rules, fulfilling your family duties, commitments, and obligations as a wife, mother, and queen of your castle. And to do so with supreme feminine poise.

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Your husband and your children are your jewels. Guard them with your life. Practice healthy boundaries. Do not forsake them for anything else.

For single women, if a married woman is spending more time with her husband, please understand and respect that obligation. Please do not feel hurt or make her feel guilty if her husband is calling her away or can’t do long lunches like she did before she got married.

I often hear single women complaining about other women in Facebook Rules Groups saying, “Oh my God. As soon as a woman gets a boyfriend/husband, she totally disappears and ditches the group. You never hear from her again!”

I say, “That’s right. It’s never your happily married friends hanging out in Rules Groups.”

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Modern Geisha

Life Strategies for Toxic People

While many people may give the appearance of being nice and friendly to you, deep under the surface, they are covertly toxic and destructive. 

Clients often call me for tactics on how to deal with their endless daily battles with toxic people.

For your own sanity, develop the ability to quickly recognize them and learn how to let them go.

Toxic people can prevent you from reaching your true potential. And they will do it at any cost.

I created the Modern Geisha philosophy to help women develop soul beauty, poise, and supreme femininity throughout their daily walk in life by writing this mantra:

A Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, serene, happy, grateful and unperturbed.

Therefore, it is crucial to guard your serenity. Never allow anyone or anything to pollute your aura by allowing them to drag you into their emotional chaos.

Toxic people will put you in a bad mood. Walk away. Maintain your frame. So much depends on your ability to hold your mood.

To become a true Modern Geisha, you must embody supreme calmness under stress, elegant thinking, emotional stability, and mature order. This also means having healthy boundaries and the strength to let them go.

Due to the overwhelming amount of fan mail I get from beloved followers who have found my Modern Geisha audios and told me how much it has changed their life, I’m bringing back the Modern Geisha philosophy.

It is a more elegant way of being and a “refined system of education.”

Modern Geisha is the heart and soul of my teachings. It comes from “soul knowledge,” not by a book.

I am currently focusing on redeveloping and strengthening what I started in 2011-2013 when I was a baby coach.

All my best and original material was created back then. Thanks to all my “soul clients” who kept following me and would not let it go.

How to follow my Modern Geisha posts:
MG Facebook Fanpage:
MG Instagram:

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Advice By Kim

On Giving Advice

Do you like to share The Rules with everyone? If so, what was the result?

Were you ever burned or betrayed by a friend for being generous with your time, energy and knowledge?

Did they humiliate you by telling the guy you were dating about The Rules?

There’s a reason the authors call it, “Time-tested Secrets.”

When it comes to your dating life, less is better.

Don’t be so eager to share your dating strategy with everyone just because The Rules have helped you. Be discreet, high-value, and hard to get even with friends.

Not everyone will appreciate your help or The Rules. It’s not for everyone.

Better to be quiet and self-assured. Not eagerly rushing to help others whenever.

Your time is valuable. Isn’t it?

People who rush to the support of others tend to gain little respect in the process, for their help is so easily obtained, while those who stand back are besieged with supplicants.

-Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

You will gain more respect from others when you respect your own time. Sometimes helping people means letting them help themselves.

If you want to project feminine poise and high-value, maintain an air of mystery by stepping back.

Less is elegant.

Sharing too much makes you seem needy and commonplace.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

Recommended Books:
1. All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
2. The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace
3. Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating
4. The New Rules: Dating Do’s and Don’ts for the Digital Generation
5. The 48 Laws of Power

How to Work with Kim: Advice by appointment only. Please do not email unless if you are a client and I am requesting information for an upcoming consult. Due to the constant overload of emails, I am unable to answer any questions that are not booked and paid for through my website. To book a consult, please submit a Wufoo form. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Advice By Kim

The Critical Window

The first 3 months of dating sets the tone for the rest of the relationship life.

Everything I need to know about your relationship is in the first 3 months. It’s “The Critical Window” because it sets the tone for the rest of the relationship life.

I also call it “Husband Training.” Boundaries must be strictly enforced from the beginning. Any situation that needs analysis, correction must be done before patterns are set.

At the same time, you must screen your suitor. Silently observe his actions and inactions. Is he your Mr. Right?

Clients who become success stories call me the moment they meet Mr. Right and before making any important decisions from the first message until engagement (or down the aisle).

They know that the first 3 months of dating is like wet cement. Whatever impression you leave lasts forever.

Habits formed during, “The Critical Window” are extremely hard or next to impossible to change. How Rules-y you are (or not) will show up later on in the relationship. Time will tell everything. Therefore, it is critical to do The Rules.

The good news is, you don’t need a crystal ball to predict the future. If you are following The Rules, then the proof is in your relationship.

Show me what rules you’ve done (or broken) and I’ll show you your future.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

Recommended Books:
1. All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
2. The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace
3. Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating
4. The New Rules: Dating Do’s and Don’ts for the Digital Generation