Advice By Kim

Rules vs. Lesson Relationships

If you want to get a proposal in a year and date without worry… Call Kim, Not Him!

[The Critical Window] I tell clients, “Everything I need to know about your relationship is in the first 3 messages, the first 3 dates and the first 3 months.” No more time-wasters and Tinder fails.

First 3 messages: the chase, getting the date
First 3 dates: courtship, getting to know you until exclusivity
First 3 months: the honeymoon phase, exclusive until engaged

The 3 Month Mark: This is precisely when women start backsliding, coasting and breaking The Rules because they now feel comfortable thinking, “Oh, he likes me!” and go back to their old self.

The mask comes off and their true character is revealed if they have any character flaws, weaknesses or inner child wounds that need to be healed. Time will tell everything.

This is why it’s crucial to get coaching and work with me on self-development BEFORE you date and while you are in the Critical Window.

Otherwise, you will get yourself stuck in a non-Rules or Karmic relationship aka “The Lesson Relationship” where you reap what you sow. In a Rules relationship, you would end up getting married. In a Karmic relationship, you end up in therapy for years, recovering from man pain.

If you want to save money in time and consultations, it’s cheaper and faster if you call me BEFORE you break rules so I can help you get married, not clean up the mess and try to work with a problem no one can solve.

Call me the SECOND you meet Mr. Right. BEFORE you text all day and night, sleep with him, go on a trip, BEFORE you break other rules, etc…

The quicker you contact me for a consultation, the less rules you’ll break and the sooner you’ll get married!

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Now taking new clients. To book, click this link:

Before booking, it is highly recommended that you get The Rules Books and my audios e.g. Mission CUAO, Hold Your Mood to Hold Your Man in order to get the most out of your coaching sessions.

Advice By Kim

Online Dating

Before you commit dating suicide, read this book, “The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right” (Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider, 2002) This is probably the most underrated but useful and relevant book for online dating.

It will answers questions like: How do I write an ad? Should I post a picture? Should I answer a man’s ad? How to I respond to instant messages? How soon should I answer his emails? How do I juggle emails and phone calls? How should I negotiate meeting the man in person? How do I choose a good screen name? How do I evaluate the quality of an online relationship as it develops? If we initially met in person, how do I conduct myself in emails with him?

My reputation for success stories is attributed to helping you train your suitor with “Uncommon & Superior Strategies,” which is beyond The Rules. However, you can’t be “uncommon & superior” if you don’t even know basic rules. Study this book before you get on the market!

If you’re a client of mine, you will find that my dating strategy is different from anything you have ever done or read out there. It’s counter-intuitive. It goes against popular dating advice. It will make you uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel natural. It will test your insecurities and confidence, but it’s far more powerful and effective any advice you have ever known. This is how you rank up and stand out as a Creature Unlike Any Other. Men want the best in class.

It takes a lot of courage, inner strength and conviction to follow my advice without excuses. Those are the incredible success stories you see. It’s why my clients are proud to share their testimony and have their photos published on my social media sites. Marriage is an accomplishment to be proud of.

Coaching requires the deepest level of trust, discipline, mental toughness and the humility to listen and learn. This is what wife material is made of and what men look for in a mate. You will be severely tested in dating.

Whether it’s online or in real life, you will meet men who are experienced at gaming women. It’s just their way of sorting out targets. Since they are hunters, they have more exposure to the stacking order of targets. You must understand the male mindset and their dating strategy (see Erotic Power) to be successful at getting a proposal. But if you don’t know the basics, you will be at the mercy of narcissistic players and Tinderfellas.

The key is to set yourself apart as the Creature Unlike Any Other by behaving differently than all the desperate women because that is the general assessment men have of the dating market. They expect you to be desperate, so take them by surprise. Be the prize catch.

I just realized that I’ve taught at least 4 classes about online dating alone. For those wanting a book, this is one of my hidden gems available on the market. Not everything I have is for sale. Some items are exclusively available to VIP clients only. (e.g. “Time Stand Still,” the jewel of my crown and my most famous lesson from Secrets of the Modern Geisha).

If you’re online dating and struggling, here’s a list of 21 quick questions I’ve answered for Rules Girls attending “The Rabbit Hole” lecture on October 2012 before “Not Your Mother’s Rules was published February 14, 2013. You don’t have to book a consult to get my advice. Just download the audio and listen at your leisure.

1. Last Minute Dates: Should we refuse any last minute date of the same guy until he starts to asks you in advance (3 days before the date), even he already asked me more than 6 times? 

2. Long Distance Visits: Should we wait until his 3 visits to schedule any visit to his city?

3. Texts After a Month of Silence: If a guy had started to text you, asking out for Last minute date and you refused them and after 1 month he starts to invite you again, should a Rules girl text him back and act like he texted you yesterday (LOL)?

4. Breaking Old Habit of Driving to Him: I’ve established a pattern where I am driving to my guy – I am trying to get him to come to my area, but finding this difficult… How can I undo old habits?

5. Your Date is Great But Consistently Late: The Rules and Modern Geisha are all about being light, breezy, and easy to get along with. What do we do if things seem to be going well but a guy is consistently late?

6. When Is It OK to Have Sex?

7. Significance of Saturday Night Dates

8. Asking for Photos

9. Texting on a Date

10. Romantic Gifts

11. Driving for a Date

12. Asking for His Intentions

13. Signs He Wants to Marry You

14. Criteria for a Successful Relationship

15. Can You Do The Rules Without Marriage?

16. The Rules and Flirting

17. Never Speak to a Man First

18. Letting Your Guard Down

19. Detaching from Sex

20. How to Ensure His Faithfulness

21. Reconnecting with Childhood Friends

Review of “The Rabbit Hole“:

In just a few hours, The Rabbit Hole lesson cleared up burning questions that women prattle about for months and years.  The Rules mean it when they say “Love should be easy.”  Why read endless books in the relationship section or spend time on a dating blog when Kim can give you quick answers? This lesson is your on the spot guide to save you from wondering if he’s into you or not. It’s not as hard or complicated as women make it out to be.

THerapist in Boston, Ma

You can find “The Rabbit Hole” on my Gumroad store:

Success Story

Date with Destiny 7.17

Photo by Raman Evazians boating on Lake Travis

Today is a very special milestone in my life and emotional day for me. It’s the day we decided to call the anniversary of when we met and became an official couple.

We met on July 14th in Austin while boating with mutual friends on the lake over the weekend. That following Monday, July 17th my husband sent his first email before asking me out on our first date. It was a date with destiny that would change my life forever.

You will always hear me talk about you have 30 seconds to make a good first impression. Everything after that is to confirm the kind of impression you made. So much depends on that critical window.

After all these years, I have even more confirmation that I married my soulmate. It was destiny.

I was going to share what my husband wrote to give you the kind of impression I left that sealed the deal so you can understand how men think, date and choose their mate.

But then I decided some things are better left a mystery.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Male Universe

Strict Yet Feminine Advice

Dating is psychological warfare. Not therapy.

The secret to “The Rules” is to seem like you have no strategy whatsoever.

You must seem innocent, aloof, natural, and uncontrived as if it happened magically.

Men will know on the first date if you are trying to get them. They will recoil and put up walls against you. From that moment on, they will become immune to any kind of flirting or “moves.” The first few dates is the critical window.

One of the reasons many women have been doing The Rules for years yet cannot get a husband (ế) is they show their hand. Their intentions are obvious, which makes them seem desperate and manipulative.

This is due to lack of education, parenting, personal development and self-awareness. Other than ignorance, it’s intellectual arrogance and unbacked vanity.

It’s often people who say, “Just be yourself.” This is the worst advice ever. It keeps them single and unevolved creatures that get ruthlessly weeded out by natural selection.

The most common mistake women make is telling a man how to date you. Do not teach him “The Rules.” You are his date, not his mother or teacher. It’s extremely rude, offensive and most of all, it doesn’t work.

Kim’s “Strict Yet Feminine” Advice:

1. Texting him to confirm a date: “Are we still on for this Sat?”
It shows your need for control. It also says you are deeply insecure. When a man is keen on meeting you, he is looking forward to it and might remind you just to make sure YOU don’t forget! Be relaxed and trust that he will show up. Your silence shows calm confidence and supreme femininity.

If he doesn’t, then he’s showing you who he really is. He is not a man you can rely on. You need someone who is mature, stable, responsible and trustworthy. Be glad he didn’t show up and waste your time. Write him off. Use the Modern Geisha Mantra to gracefully deal with rejection:

A Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood. She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.

-Kim Evazians

Don’t be bitter. Be efficient. Move on. Never give anyone the power to ruin your day.

2. Refusing a “coffee date” just because you don’t drink coffee.
I wouldn’t even mention that. It’s negative and unnecessary. The point is not to drink coffee. It’s a venue to connect in real life to see if there’s chemistry. You don’t have to drink coffee. Order sparkling water, juice, or tea.

Don’t be so literal, heavy and exacting. It’s not feminine or gracious. Definitely not “Light & Breezy” as The Rules authors say.

He can find out later that you don’t drink coffee as he spends time with you. Be a complete mystery. Don’t reveal everything at once. Let him get to know you one layer at a time.

Actions are more elegant than words. The less words, the better. Avoid saying anything negative. Keep a positive vibe. This will intrigue him and make hopelessly addicted to you. It sets you apart from the uneducated bumpkin*.

3. Asking him to pick you if he doesn’t offer: “Um… Can you pick me up?”
A gentleman always plans, always picks you up, always pays. When a man is interested, he is gallant, chivalrous, and makes an effort to impress you. He cannot wait to be in the same room with you, smell your hair, bask in your beauty and breathe your essence. This is romantic courtship.

If he doesn’t offer to pick you up from the beginning, then it means he’s just not crazy about you or he’s not a gentleman or he’s lazy. Do you really want to spend time with someone like that? I have better things to do, like go wash my hair.

4. Telling him to come to your area as a counter-move if he doesn’t want to come to you:
When a man is serious about meeting you, one of the first things he will ask is information about your location, places you like to hang out, and where is a convenient meeting place. He will be accommodating and show effort.

He may also be interested in checking out your area and get a sense of your town if he is traveling from another city. Even if your town is small, he will go just because you are there.

Men are hunters. They love adventure. They like exploring new places. They thrive on challenge. It makes them manly. If they don’t, it makes me wonder how much of a man are they? Is he an alpha male or a delicate pansy*?

5. Last tip for being a lady: If a man opens the door or pulls out your chair for the first time…
Don’t gush and get all giddy like a high school teenager and say, “Oh my God. You are the first man who has ever done this! It’s about time I met a real gentleman!” Compose yourself. Remain poised and self-possessed. Act like you’ve always had men opening doors for you. Every day.

If he brings you flowers on the first date, don’t say with your mouth side open, “Oh my God, I have never gotten flowers!!! These are sooo beautiful!!! Thank you!!!” and act like you’re about to faint.

Behave as though you’ve been getting flowers since you were a teenager in high school. Channel your inner Prom Queen. Maintain your composure. Have a disciplined facial expression. Don’t lose it over flowers.

These are subtle distinctions that can make a girl go from a “Ten” to “Six” in 60 seconds on the first few dates. It is during this critical window a man will form his lifelong opinion of you and decide if you are marriage material. Therefore, it is critical to master the art of making a grand entrance.

They teach this in Charm School… Or at least they did once upon a time… For women to be well-married. So much depends on your ability to make a good first impression. It’s the only one you will ever get.

Dictionary definitions courtesy of
*bumpkin: a person from the countryside who is considered awkward and stupid.
*pansy: old-fashioned, offensive word use to describe a man who behaves in the way that is more typical of a woman.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

Work with Kim: Advice by appointment. All questions must be submitted via Wufoo Form.