Advice By Kim

Is It Hard?

Is it hard for you to walk away from a Lukewarm Suitor who isn’t that into you to begin with?

Is it hard to accept that your Suitor is now a Timewaster?

Is it hard to do “No Contact” with your ex and move on?

It’s hard because we all want it EASY and we want it NOW… Not later.

You are where you are because it’s COMFORTABLE.

There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s deceptively dangerous. When you are comfortable, you cannot change and grow.

You remove the option of upgrading and finding Mr. Right. You stagnate in a mediocre relationship that is unsatisfying but unable to walk away.

When you are comfortable, you tend to stay in “Relationship Limbo.” It’s neither heaven nor hell.

Or worse…

You make bad decisions that create trauma bonding with abusive relationships. This causes even more harm in the long run, emotionally and physically.

Taking the easy way is like making a deal with the devil. It feels good now but there’s a hidden price to pay later.

In fact, you end up paying more than you ever thought. Far more than the price of Rules Consultations with me.

I’ve told countless clients to walk away when the writing is on the wall. This is not the moment to be weak, indecisive and stall.

You must make a critical decision where timing is of the essence. Don’t wait!

I’m not telling you something frivolous, like what shoes to wear for your date.

Here’s what happens…
The ones who listened got the ring.
The ones who did not got dumped.
(Much to their shock!)

You don’t need a crystal ball to know what will happen. Show me what rules you’ve done (or broken) and I’ll show you your future.

Many clients say I’m amazing because of my precise and accurate advice. I just tell people the unsugarcoated truth.

If you want the ring, you must do what is required of you: follow The Rules. Do it without fail, without waffling, and without excuses.

You can choose not to follow The Rules… I won’t go after you… But you don’t get to choose the consequences of breaking them.

These are iron-clad rules from which there is no escape. This is The Law of Sowing and Reaping:

Whatever a woman soweth in her relationships, that which shall she reap.

The Bible

My coaching is all about achieving long lasting success by having ethics. Most people are not successful in life because having ethics is hard.

Do what is hard, not what is easy. For lasting success, so much depends on your ability to “Choose your hard.”

To hear more on this, listen to my audio lecture, “Mission CUAO.” The best investment is yourself.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

Recommended Books:
1. All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
2. The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace
3. Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating
4. The New Rules: Dating Do’s and Don’ts for the Digital Generation

How to Work with Kim: Advice by appointment only. Please do not email unless if you are a client and I am requesting information for an upcoming consult. Due to the constant overload of emails, I am unable to answer any questions that are not booked and paid for through my website. To book a consult, please submit a Wufoo form. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.


Miss to Mrs

Homeless to Happily Married

She went from homeless to happily married in one year.

Just Married – Congratulations to a client who just said, “I do”!

Their wedding was on the anniversary of their first date. Now on a Caribbean cruise for their honeymoon!

Before The Rules, she was a classic sob story. She found me last Christmas after a bad breakup. Her ex told her she had to move out and she was homeless for the holidays. By February, she went on her first Match date and he proposed in 6.5 months.

Read her story: “I got introduced to The Rules last year. Found Kim’s page in December. In January after a terrible breakup, I went on Match and pushed myself to start dating. I applied The Rules for the first time ever.

I was following Kim’s advice on her FB page and in her group. I also had a few consultations with Kim.

I only had one date with my fiance and the rest is history. He is the perfect Rules guy. He always asked to see me in advance, brings flowers almost every week, gives me romantic gifts and treats me like a queen.

We were exclusive after 2 months. He never canceled a date. Never made me worry. He always compliments me and notices everything. He always drives to pick me up and every single time opens a car door to help me to get in and out. I’ve never been so happy before.

He asked about my ring size and what kind of jewelry I like after we became exclusive. He told me that he knew on the first date he wants to build a long lasting relationship with me.

Thank you so much, Kim Evazians and The Rules!” -Miss to Mrs Success Story

She went from homeless to happily married. See every struggle as an opportunity to triumph.

Women who invest in coaching get to the altar faster because they know they are worth it.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

P.S. – Do you have your copy of The Rules yet?

Recommended Books:
1. All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
2. The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace
3. Not Your Mother’s Rules: The New Secrets for Dating
4. The New Rules: Dating Do’s and Don’ts for the Digital Generation

Humor

Writing a Dear John Letter

Dear Rules & Modern Geisha Fans,

I love my job. I am happy and grateful for all my clients and their quiet, private thank you letters they continue to write and all the positive results they are getting! But every now and then, I get a request to help a client write a “Dear John Letter,” which is commonly known as breakup letter from a woman to a man in the most compassionate way.

Relationships are hard and don’t always turn out as we hoped. Sometimes you’re not right for each other and it’s no one’s fault. Sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Or it turns out the guy isn’t exactly husband material. There are times when the relationship has run its course and it’s simply time to move on and do what Rules girls know to do… NEXT!!!

I know. It’s easier said than done. Breakups are not easy and not nice no matter how you slice it. From a philosophical standpoint, I am not the type of coach who would write a Dear John Letter to end a relationship. I think  breakups should happen in person, face-to-face, with compassion, sincerity, gratitude, warmth and peace.

I recommend you give this person the courtesy of a warm, heartfelt good-bye, thanking them for all the time they spent with you, for the good times and the bad, and for everything you learned from relationship–be it positive or negative. Always look for the good things in people. After all, you did choose to be with this person.

Today, with the convenience of modern technology, people are resorting to emails, texts and Facebook to breakup. Believe me, I’m into the latest and greatest technology, but I’m old-fashioned when it comes to breakups and goodbye’s. I get back down to the basics when it comes to personal human interaction. My preference will always be face-to-face. Remember, this is someone you once loved and cared for, not a stranger.

However, it does not mean I would not help someone write a letter if that’s what they want. People have a right to make their own decisions on how they handle their situation. Everyone is different.

I think some people do need to write Dear John Letters even if the other person never sees it. In fact, I highly encourage my clients to engage in the practice of journaling or writing letters as a simple and highly effective exercise. It’s cheaper than therapy, it makes them organize their thoughts, self-reflect, and it’s a safe way to emotionally purge.

It also helps them get a sense of closure and finality. Believe me, it will actually make you feel better to write the letter. It’s quite therapeutic and healing, even if you’re not currently in throes of a breakup. If anything, it is an emotional release that leaves you with a calm sense of serenity.

Here is a recent testimonial from my client:

Dear Kim,

I appreciate your revision of my letter.

I feel different reading your version… Feels calmer and presents better…

So I did throw mine out and used yours instead… LOL!

Yes, I agreed on how once this letter is sent out, I can never take it back… So that’s why I needed you to review them.

When writing an emotionally charged letter, I aim for clarity, calmness, control and elegance. A Rules-y Modern Geisha can say how she feels with with dignity, grace and self-respect while also respecting the other person’s dignity as well.  You can express anger, hurt, disappointment and disapproval in a calm, clear and level-headed way. Meaning you are in control of your mood, not being controlled by it. Your writing and your words betray your emotions. Once sent, it can never be taken back.

In all honesty, I think the best Dear John Letters are ones that are written and never sent. Go ahead and write it, edit it, revise it a dozen times and seal it in an envelope. You can even go as far as taking it to the post office.

My hope is that by then, you will have calmed yourself. Take the letter and just hold on to it. Pick up the phone and arrange to meet and give them a proper closure in-person with a warm good-bye hug, wish each other well, and leave each other in peace.

“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.”  ~Japanese proverb

Much Gratitude,

Kim, The Modern Geisha

“The Modern Geisha is always moving in a good mood… She is always calm, beautiful, happy, serene, grateful and unperturbed.”

Privacy & Confidentiality: All consultations are 100% private and confidential. No information about a client is shared or published without prior knowledge, review and consent. Testimonies and stories are voluntarily shared at the client’s own discretion to educate, enlighten and inspire others.

Note:  This message is intended for a general audience only. There are rules and exceptions to the rules. I give advice on a case-by-case basis only and not cookie-cutter advice. If you have questions regarding this matter, please email kim.evazians@gmail.com for a private consultation.