Advice By Kim

Dead Zone

Dead Zone = Disappear. You’re out. Busy. Gone!

On weekends, learn how to disconnect, retreat and go mute.

By not responding, you are maintaining your feminine poise and power. This communicates high value and worth.

It’s none of their business what you’re doing with whom, when, and where.

These are boyfriend privileges. Unless he is your boyfriend, no guy is entitled to know anything or a response.

Texting back to inform him of your whereabouts shows no boundaries and low self-esteem, which invites disrespect or worse–abuse.

Some women need to be put on The Duct Tape Plan or hit the mute button to withdraw your energy during Dead Zone.

You can’t be a big mouth and blurt out everything that’s on your mind or what you’re doing over the weekend via texts.

Be a complete mystery. Be a challenge. Be the PRIZE!!!

No contact until Mon 10am. Yes, I am stricter than the books (which says until Sun 6pm)! No exceptions.

A man will form his lifelong opinion of you based on your rules or non rules behavior during the Critical Window (first 30 days). Therefore, it is life or death to do The Rules.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Miss to Mrs

Choose Your Coach

Choosing the right coach is crucial to your success. We all need role models and mentors guide us, protect us, and show us the correct way. My method is known to be “strict but successful.” Clients may not always like my advice, but they LOVE the results!

When I asked my client, “Why did you choose me out of all the coaches in The Rules directory?” She said:

What stood out about you on The Rules website was your description of who you are and what you do. When you wrote how you were “VERY happily married,” it peaked my interest! I’m being honest here! That and something just told me to select you. I was somehow automatically drawn to you. It was the best decision I’ve ever made!

I would recommend you because you are always clear and upfront. Sometimes what you had to say wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but definitely NEEDED to hear! That and there’s a kind of mystique you have because you have such an interesting and unique story.

-Miss to Mrs Success Story

The books are not enough because they were written to be “moderate for the masses.” A paperback product scaled to millions will never be as strict and precise as personal coaching with a “highly accomplished teacher,” someone who is already where you want to be and has a proven track record of helping others do the same. Consistently. Over time.

“Nothing feels as good as a tailor fitted dress.” -Kim Evazians

The difference between learning by a book and getting mentored by a coach is like ordering cafeteria style food versus a 5-star bistro. Or like buying a dresses off the rack versus a bespoke tailor shop that’s made to measure.

Personal coaching does what books can ever do. It helps you achieve what you never could have on your own.

“Through an intense person-to-person interaction, you absorb a way that contains great power and can be adapted to your individual spirit. Choose the mentor who best fits your needs and connects you to your Life’s Task.”

-Mastery, Robert Greene

I do not give cookie-cutter advice. I do not rely solely on The Rules Books to counsel clients. I have years of experience, a serious track record of success stories and overwhelming proof. I use my gifted intuition with men and do not give the same advice to two people in the same situation. Do you know why?

Each one of you was born special and unique. This uniqueness is marked genetically in your DNA. You are a one-time Creature Unlike Any Other in the universe. No one else is like you… And never will be.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Miss to Mrs

It Took So Long

Congratulations to the newlyweds! Welcome to the Mrs. Club!

Dear Kim, It took me so long to see the difference between Rules men and non-Rules men. I hope your clients learn to see the difference, too… I owe so much to you, Kim!!! Just the books alone I don’t think were enough for me. I needed a living, breathing embodiment of The Rules and being a CUAO such as yourself to learn from!

-Miss to Mrs Success Story

It took her a long time to learn, but she made it! She’s married. Everyone needs their own time to learn The Rules. She never gave up on coaching with me. She worked closely with me from the moment she met Mr. Right and called me during the Critical Window, throughout their relationship, and even after the engagement.

She followed me all over the world wherever I traveled with my husband. When things got difficult, confusing or weird, she called me for advice. #CallKimNotHim

I was strict and tough but she never flinched. Never took it personally or complained about how it was hard to hear. She was happy and grateful for the truth. She would rather me scold her privately than to go out into the world making moronic blunders.

She went from being dumped by a broker loser living with his Mom and delivering vegetables to a marrying lawyer who is successful and stable in his career.

It’s been a wondrous journey of truth and transformation.

Ever since she met me, she had always dreamed of being one of my success stories and is happy to share her wedding photos.

Rules by rote isn’t enough. The key to doing The Rules is to make it seem like you’re not.

The books give you the vocabulary but only an accomplished teacher can show you a way of being that is alluring, intriguing, and captivating. This can only be taught in a person-to-person manner through role modeling techniques.

You must project that aura of femininity that seems to come out of your pores in an effortless, uncontrived way… As if you were born with it.

We all need role models who can help us achieve things we could never do on our own.

Coaching is that sacred space where I share my energy and natural talents.

The most powerful gift I can ever give to my clients is the aura of supreme feminine poise, quiet confidence, and deep self-belief.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Miss to Mrs

Diamond Among Stones

Since 2010, my claim to fame has been helping clients “get engaged in a year or less.”

But that’s just part of the story.

I help you marry a “Man who loves you more than you love him,” a man who is maddeningly addicted to you, wants to see you every day, and never tires of you.

Finding a good husband is like finding a diamond among stones. It’s extremely difficult but not totally impossible.

The Rules co-author, Sherrie Schneider says, “Congrats on 19 years!!! That is so beautiful what Raman wrote!” 

Dating isn’t for the lazy or weak. It requires the willingness to invest in your own personal development, high moral character, ethics, mental toughness, humility, and emotional maturity. A happy, successful, long-term marriage is for those who are strong enough to endure the corrosion of time.

Some of you may have just found The Rules recently and stumble across my blog. We’ve been together for almost two decades now.

If you want to know the story of how we met and what a classic Rules story is supposed to look like from the beginning, listen to one of my early Rules Seminars called, “The Rabbit Hole,” (Lecture + Q&A). This bundle contains a list of 21 questions from the original members of my secret underground learning labyrinth called, “Secrets of the Modern Geisha.” It was taught during the same year “Not Your Mother’s Rules” book was published by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider (2013).

My husband is a diamond among stones because I see a lot of husbands neglectful of their wives. They look forward to fishing, hunting, camping or hanging out with their poker buddies more than they look forward to date night. In some marriages, if their wife cancels date night, the husband will rejoice and tell their friends, “Yay! Free hall pass!”

I am supremely blessed and grateful to be married to a man who has always put me first. According to Raman–as he learned from his father–even kids come after your husband because, in the end, all your kids will leave you, marry someone else, and start their own family. In your old age, all you have is each other. That’s why we never had kids. We didn’t want to share our time.

Raman provides for me, protects me, makes my life comfortable and easy. He cherishes me above all others and expects very little in return except my TIME.

Furthermore, he will take a bullet for me.

Such a husband is deserving of my time, attention, energy and love. Anyone else will come after and I do not apologize for that. These are the bundle of privileges that come with marriage. It is the most sacred and highest form of communion two people can ever have.

Even my own father tells me to put my husband first. He never takes offense to our absences. He never imposes himself and he never interferes in our affairs regardless of how he feels. My father understands the seriousness of marital obligations and strongly believes in honoring them.

Many women nowadays will go through their entire adult life without ever knowing what their obligations are. Obligations are the same thing as rules. There’s a generation of women don’t follow “The Rules” or any kind or relationship code of conduct either because 1) No one ever taught them or 2) Maybe they were taught but don’t believe in following them for whatever reason: toxic beliefs from pop culture, peer pressure or narcissistic personality problems.

In school, they teach you how to be a good employee but not a good wife. They teach you how to read, write and do math but not how to manage relationships or build a powerful marriage.

As a result, many women are going through a crisis: being middle-aged yet unable to create a happy, loving, committed relationship that will end in marriage. We have a generation of “empowered women” who have plenty of paper on the wall but no marriage certificate… Lots of accomplishments or money in their bank but no one to come home to at night. It’s lonely.

What’s missing in their narratives is understanding fundamental law, rules, and principles regarding relationships that have existed since the beginning of time.

All relationships have rules and obligations, whether it be a parent/child, teacher/student, a boss/employee, or coach/client. Understanding your relationship obligations is critical to your success and getting what you want in life. Most importantly, to be happy.

No one is ever successful all on their own. Your success in life largely depends on the relationships you build and nurture. Build your bridges before you need them.

Geishas were highly accomplished, well-respected, and powerful women because they knew the art of building long-term, strategic relationships with powerful people. So much of their prestige and reputation depends on the people they know–key members of the Japanese ruling elite.

If it wasn’t for my family, successful friends, powerful mentors, my loving husband, the support of Ellen and Sherrie, and my devoted clients, I wouldn’t be here teaching you.

When people don’t know their obligations to the key people in their life, they suffer inside. Their life is a constant, desperate struggle in a tough and cruel world. And they’re alone because they unintentionally alienate themselves rather than winning friends and influencing people.

In my previous blog, “Our Time” was a gentle reminder for married women to understand their marital obligations. Let it also serve as a pre-lesson for single women with matrimonial ambition.

It is for wives to not be inconsiderate and take their husbands for granted when they worked so hard to get you. Remember, out of all the women in the world, he chose to commit to YOU. He made a vow to love you, honor you and cherish you… In sickness and in health, rich or poor and “until death do us part.”

Life is different after marriage. When you are single, you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and have no obligations to anyone but yourself.

A married woman’s life is full of obligations. She must organize herself around her husband, her children, her in-laws, and her husband’s friends, etc… This is part of growing up and living in the adult world: following rules, fulfilling your family duties, commitments, and obligations as a wife, mother, and queen of your castle. And to do so with supreme feminine poise.

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Your husband and your children are your jewels. Guard them with your life. Practice healthy boundaries. Do not forsake them for anything else.

For single women, if a married woman is spending more time with her husband, please understand and respect that obligation. Please do not feel hurt or make her feel guilty if her husband is calling her away or can’t do long lunches like she did before she got married.

I often hear single women complaining about other women in Facebook Rules Groups saying, “Oh my God. As soon as a woman gets a boyfriend/husband, she totally disappears and ditches the group. You never hear from her again!”

I say, “That’s right. It’s never your happily married friends hanging out in Rules Groups.”

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Miss to Mrs

Our Time

On this day, we said, “I do.”

Today is our 19th wedding anniversary. I am writing this blog in honor of my husband.

I am so thankful and supremely blessed to be married to a man so devoted to the idea of romantic love and believes in putting his wife first, above all else, including himself.

He learned this from his father, who was his role model for the ideal husband. His father was so devoted to his mother, he put her above everyone else, including his kids until the day she died.

If you ever wonder why your married girlfriends drop off or don’t make you a priority, please do not feel hurt, resentful or take it personally.

A married woman has obligations and commitments to her family. Her husband comes first. Everything else comes after, including children.

This is why we never had kids. We did not want to share our time and attention with anyone else but each other.

It was our second year of marriage that my husband wrote this to me expressing his ideal vision and wish for our marriage as newlyweds.

May this serve as a gentle reminder for both newlyweds and wives who have been married a long time to honor their commitments.

Quality time is one of my husband’s primary love languages. It is also the most valuable commodity on earth.

Togetherness was so important to him that doing nothing together was more important than doing something apart.

“Our Time”

Make it a point to honor and respect the time we share. Among all the hours in the day, consciously plan your day such that you won’t stomp on “our time.”

Make it a point to communicate if you regrettably can’t fulfill your commitment to be present for “our time.”

After all, if you can’t make it, you owe it to your spouse to free them of their obligation for that hour, evening, day, etc… So that they may do something else in that time.

The time we share is the reason to live. It is LIFE.

It is more important to DO NOTHING TOGETHER than to do something apart.

It’s not that you don’t have enough time in life to get things done…

It’s very unfortunate that we only have at most a few hours of “our time” a day to actually live.

Everything we do is for our LIFE TOGETHER.

Stomping on this is putting things ahead of life.

Raman Evazians

If you want your relationship to be a success story, then follow my strict but successful dating advice:

“Marry a man who loves you more than you love him.”

Sound too good to be true? Believe it. I’m living proof. So are clients who called me and got the ring.

If you are serious about getting that all-important proposal, I look forward to working with you.

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.

Advice By Kim

Every Girl Needs a Father

Me & Dad on my wedding day. The limo has arrived. As I walk out, my bridal gown gets caught in the garden. The photographer captures a tender moment when my Dad helps me with my gown.

When it came to my wishlist for Mr. Mc DreamBoat, I had one particular dealbreaker for me to consider a guy to be husband material. He needed to be able to build me a house from the ground up with his bare hands. Just like my Dad. Do you think that is unreasonable?

When I was 8 years old, my Dad built me a 2-story clubhouse in our backyard. He told me to draw it on paper and he will build it for me. So I went to school and used the computer paper with green and white stripes to draw my Mc DreamHouse.

Every girl needs a father to be the standard for which she will judge all other men.

Kim Evazians

Flash forward to my college years, I dated a guy who was 11 years older than me. I was 20 and he was 31. He was a pre-medical student who had his own construction company and did contract work building fireplaces, maintenance, and remodeling homes and offices. He could definitely build a house from the ground up with his bare hands.

After him, I dated guys who were well-to-do trust fund babies. Very handsome, clean, neat, well-spoken, well-mannered and well-dressed… But they couldn’t build a house. That will never do. I wanted a guy with a bit more manliness, ruggedness, and handy-ness. It was a real dealbreaker for me.

I did not want a soft man, a useless playboy or a Fed Bear who has been spoonfed and can do nothing for himself. I didn’t want a man child with no life skills.

I have a saying, “A Fed Bear is a dead bear.”

I wanted to marry a Conqueror type where there is nothing he cannot do… No problem he cannot solve… A guy who says, “For every problem, there is a solution.”

In my lifetime, I have been fortunate enough to know many men with this capability. One of them is my husband. Not only does he enjoy solving problems, but he also has a knack for coming up with ingenious and elegant solutions.

And yes, my husband can build anything with his bare hands–mechanical, plumbing, and electrical. When he was 5 years old, he took the VCR apart and completely dismantled it. All the parts and screws were laid out in a neat and orderly fashion so that he could remember how to put it back together. As a child, he was perfectly poised, self-directed and organized.

His parents never freaked out, never got mad, and never yelled at him for “breaking” the VCR. He didn’t break it. He was just a curious child who wanted to know how it worked, and the only way was to learn was to take it apart. After his curiosity was satisfied, he put the VCR back together and it still worked.

How many 5-year-olds do you know can do this? Most kids are kicking around in the sandbox at that age.

What is your Wishlist for Mr. Mc DreamBoat? What are your deal breakers?

Thanks to my Dad, I knew what was possible. He is the standard by which I judge all other men. I had a strategy for vetting Mr. Mc DreamBoat. I had unreasonably high standards. I never compromised. I was strict but successful, and ended up marrying the best husband ever.

Happy Father’s Day!

Kim Evazians
The Strict But Successful Coach

For advice, please book an appointment by sending a Wufoo Form.